| Fox Blog 07/22/09 - A Culling Of The Green Menace |
| Once more i leave the
safety of the house to do battle with grass in the back yard known only
as "the green menace".. i fuel up my trusty partner.. he is
getting on in his old age but can still handle himself well.. he stood
with me against the green menace riot of 1999.. we fought side by side
in the war of 2003 when the green menace fought back hard in a vicious
take over attempt.. and held his own in the coup d'etat of 2006 when the
green menace had almost won supremacy in the front and back yard.. we
have been through alot and he had scars to prove his worth.. they don't
make 3.2horsepower honda lawnmowers like him anymore ... but we stand
together and face the enemy head on.. his name is frank ..
Hours into the battle we have claimed a corner and secured the area.. the green menace is more formidable than i had first thought.. frank has taken a beating but seems alright.. i was struck by a flying thorn bush earlier but its nothing compared to the work frank is doing.. he seems to be holding up well but alas we have only just begun.. we then made our way towards the old picnic table under the big pine tree by the house.. the green menace seems to be thinner there do to bombardment from the pine tree's needles.. with frank giving his all we fought our way through and make it to the picnic table only to fall under attack to which we thought was our ally.. frank came into contact with the devilishly hidden weapons from the pine tree.. he nor i expected the attack nor the attack to be from all around.. they were .... they were ........ pine cones.... dozens of them.. frank took the direct hits and i was struck with shrapnel .. we fought our way around both the deadly tree's arsenals and the green menace and finally made it back to the clear corner of the yard... i was ok but frank.... he took the main assault... he suddenly collapsed and wasn't responding.. 10min had passed and frank was in bad shape.. i soon discovered that his spark plug cable had been knocked loose from the trees unrelenting attacks.. the damn tree must have seen what happened to his cousins, the 2 maple trees, the other day... that dirty bastard.. i tightened up the cable and refueled my mighty companion.. he was back to full strength as was i.. once again ready to take on the task at hand .. the green menace.. What seemed like an uphill fight for an eternity.. frank was giving it his all as was i .. the green menace was not giving up an inch without fighting tooth and root for space. Counterattacking any way it could with sticks, pine cones, rocks.. it even came to giving me grass cuts.. mother fuckers.... after a couple hours of relentless fighting, the last of the green menace was decapitated by the swift swipe of franks blades.. frank quietly sputtered as his last drop of fuel was consumed.. i sat on the picnic table, looking over what we had accomplished.. my eyes then glanced at frank.. his paint scratched all to hell .. dents everywhere.. decapitated heads of our foe lay stuck to his sides and wheels.... i smile towards him and giggle a soft laughter as the sun comes out from under a cloud... i think to myself.. " well done my old friend, well done" ... i then lead frank to the garage where he can take a well earned rest.. till tomorrow.. |